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Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Okay.
Haven't really been updating properly recently.
Nothing interesting to blog about anyway.. Maybe I should just delete my blog. HAHA. Hmm...
Anyhoos. Class have been really boring the past week. Apart from hanging out with Kav & YC, I've been pretty antisocial. Don't really like the current modules especially IMS. Boring module and the lecturer is pretty umm.. horrible. His idea of explaining in simple english is to use horribly broken english. Not exactly the kind of lecturer I have in mind. Was totally OMG when he started teaching that day. Kinda full of bull as well, saying the dumbest things in class. Seriously. I'll skip his lectures if I can..
Haven't been in the best of moods lately.
But, surprisingly, I haven't flared up or anything, yet. That is if you don't count the senseless quarrel I had with mom on Sunday.
Ohwells. Stuff happened and I'm trying to cope with them and not flare up. But seriously, I don't know how long more can I endure lah.
Just hope to resolve everything asap. Though I must say it won't be easy..
Alright. I need to rant badly. You people can ignore the next part. :)
You.
There are boudaries that I don't cross. But if the other party crosses it, I don't see the need to restrict myself anymore.
I'm very disappointed in you. Damn fucking disappointed. What you said hit me all of a sudden. No, I did not expect this from you at all. I thought that you're different from them all. I thought that I could trust you and tell you things. In the end? All I got was this.
Just so fucking sudden, you know? Of all people, why you? Huh? Why do you have to be the one to betray my trust?
I guess they're right about you. You've changed. So much that I don't know you anymore. I seriously don't know if I can still talk to you and pretend that nothing happened. In fact. I don't even think I will be able to look you in the eye anymore.
& you.
It's been 4 months since you got stuck in this pit.
I've really run outta ideas to help you get out of it. Sometimes you just make me wonder whether do you even have the intention of crawling out of it or not.
I'm not mad at you. I can never get mad at you. I'm just disappointed.
There are moments when if feels like you really tried. But it's only a while before you fall back in again. Falling deeper each time round.
I've no more strength to support you, you know? I really can't do this anymore. It seems that no matter how much effort I put it, it's all for nothing because you're not helping yourself one bit.
You kept telling me you wanna crawl out of it. But have you really tried? I guess you're the only one who knows the answer. It's whether you want to or not, and not whether it's possible or not. Because it's evidently possible..
You can be warm and the cold to me in a matter of days. Why huh?
You've never once let anyone of us get close enough to you. Your heart is always shut so tightly I don't know what to do anymore.
It's exhausting trying to play catch-up with you. Yes, you may say that you slow down at times. But do you really think it's enough? Enough for the people around you to catch up with you?
I feel like giving up. But there's always a part of me that tells me not to.
Really hope that you'll be able to open up to us. I'll be waiting.. ♥
} All I wanna do now is to go out and enjoy myself thoroughly with my close friends..
p/s: thanks Kav dear for giving me a ride home today. <3
7:00 PM
Haven't really been updating properly recently.
Nothing interesting to blog about anyway.. Maybe I should just delete my blog. HAHA. Hmm...
Anyhoos. Class have been really boring the past week. Apart from hanging out with Kav & YC, I've been pretty antisocial. Don't really like the current modules especially IMS. Boring module and the lecturer is pretty umm.. horrible. His idea of explaining in simple english is to use horribly broken english. Not exactly the kind of lecturer I have in mind. Was totally OMG when he started teaching that day. Kinda full of bull as well, saying the dumbest things in class. Seriously. I'll skip his lectures if I can..
Haven't been in the best of moods lately.
But, surprisingly, I haven't flared up or anything, yet. That is if you don't count the senseless quarrel I had with mom on Sunday.
Ohwells. Stuff happened and I'm trying to cope with them and not flare up. But seriously, I don't know how long more can I endure lah.
Just hope to resolve everything asap. Though I must say it won't be easy..
Alright. I need to rant badly. You people can ignore the next part. :)
You.
There are boudaries that I don't cross. But if the other party crosses it, I don't see the need to restrict myself anymore.
I'm very disappointed in you. Damn fucking disappointed. What you said hit me all of a sudden. No, I did not expect this from you at all. I thought that you're different from them all. I thought that I could trust you and tell you things. In the end? All I got was this.
Just so fucking sudden, you know? Of all people, why you? Huh? Why do you have to be the one to betray my trust?
I guess they're right about you. You've changed. So much that I don't know you anymore. I seriously don't know if I can still talk to you and pretend that nothing happened. In fact. I don't even think I will be able to look you in the eye anymore.
& you.
It's been 4 months since you got stuck in this pit.
I've really run outta ideas to help you get out of it. Sometimes you just make me wonder whether do you even have the intention of crawling out of it or not.
I'm not mad at you. I can never get mad at you. I'm just disappointed.
There are moments when if feels like you really tried. But it's only a while before you fall back in again. Falling deeper each time round.
I've no more strength to support you, you know? I really can't do this anymore. It seems that no matter how much effort I put it, it's all for nothing because you're not helping yourself one bit.
You kept telling me you wanna crawl out of it. But have you really tried? I guess you're the only one who knows the answer. It's whether you want to or not, and not whether it's possible or not. Because it's evidently possible..
You can be warm and the cold to me in a matter of days. Why huh?
You've never once let anyone of us get close enough to you. Your heart is always shut so tightly I don't know what to do anymore.
It's exhausting trying to play catch-up with you. Yes, you may say that you slow down at times. But do you really think it's enough? Enough for the people around you to catch up with you?
I feel like giving up. But there's always a part of me that tells me not to.
Really hope that you'll be able to open up to us. I'll be waiting.. ♥
} All I wanna do now is to go out and enjoy myself thoroughly with my close friends..
p/s: thanks Kav dear for giving me a ride home today. <3
7:00 PM